Big brother Derek

First off, I would like to apologise for my previous post, and may go back and delete it later. I had a lot of emotions, and wasn't focussing on who actually loves me and makes everything worthwhile. I could mention a bunch of names, but I won't so I don't clog my up my blog. *cough*jorden,siani,george,lauren-ilyguys*cough*

Anywho, I was just messing with one of my little sister's friends who is vacationing in Turkey, I think. Why am I telling you this? Because I had fun doing it, okay?!
By the way, I cut my ankle this morning and it really hurt and bled everywhere. RANDOM NEWS FLASH.
And yeah, first I was speaking German to my sister's English friend over MSN. So she's like "what?" and "if you don't talk normally I'm going to dlet you". The reason 'dlet' is in italics is because that's what she said, and I don't know what it means. Anyone want to help me on that one? Fail typo. Anywho, then my sister (her name's Lauren) came back, so I went back to my own computer. She wasn't to upset that I'd been confusing her friend - I think she found it quite amusing.
So then, I can't remember how they got onto the subject, they start talking about my brother, Derek. I tried looking up the message history, but it was ghosted out, so I guess I'll never know. I also asked Lauren, but she couldn't remember either. I think we were just thinking of more ways to mess with her. You see, Derek is a figment of my imagination. He's my older brother. He's 19 and lives in an appartment in Plymouth with his friend, Damien. Derek's training for the navy, and Damien is still at college, pondering what to do. You see, in my spare time I think about these weird things, covering pretty much every aspect so if anyone ever asks about them I know the answer straight away, like a little sister would.
So Lauren's friend is saying that Lauren doesn't have a brother, so Lauren says that it's just my brother. Her friend asks if me and Lauren are only half sisters, as we would if Derek was only my brother, but I told her to say that Derek annoyed her when she was little, so she didn't count him as her brother. It was like a little family joke they had going on - Lauren said Derek wasn't her brother and Derek said that Lauren wasn't his sister. Lauren's friend bought that, I guess, but asked to see a picture of him over webcam. Lauren panicked, but I just told her to say that the pictures were in the loft, and since Derek was in Plymouth we couldn't get a new one. Fair enough excuse, right? So, to compensate, I drew a picture of him, because I like drawing, and drawing is fun and I always wanted to draw Derek. He had no hands because I couldn't be assed to draw them.
ANOTHER RANDOM NEWS FLASH. Nothing is cuter than a dwarf hamster eating a raisin.
I didn't expect Lauren's friend to buy it as a photo for a second, but, you know, if I could draw him and knew what he looked like then maybe it would be more plausible.
So Lauren shows her friend over webcam, and says "Katie drew a picture of him". And her friend is like "but it's a cartoon". So Lauren's like "that's 'cause Katie draws cartoon - he's a not a cartoon in real life!". And her friend believed her.
Then, just to make it a little more believable, I went on MSN and changed my name to Derek, and my status-message-thingy to "missing my family back in Devon. :(". Seemed plausible. Then I sent a message to Lauren and had a conversation with her as Derek, which Lauren then screenshot'd and sent to her friend. It worked well. The conversation was quite funny. It was mainly about how Derek and Damien had both got colds when they went out in the rain to get milk because the old milk went moldy, and there was another bit somewhere about Derek's border collie, Ollie, getting an e-mail address. Then Lauren added me to the conversation with her friend, so she could talk to Derek, but she went to get food or something, and during the time she was away MSN crashed and we had to evacuate the convo.

Pretty mean, eh? I mean, I see that now, but it was fun at the time. Besides, what harm could possibly come from your friend having an older brother that you didn't know about? Especially one that doesn't live with the rest of the family, so you'd probably never get to meet him.
But it got me thinking. Why do I like the think I have an older brother? I guess it's because I want one. Everyone will disagree with me now, and say that an older brother is the last thing I want, but I think it would be quite cool, being the tomboy-ish thing I am. Tomboy-ish, well, more of a tomboy than tomboy-ish. I'm into video games, heavy music and wearing black, which makes me a lot of guy friends. So yeah, big brother Derek would be great.
If Derek was real, due to circumstances that happened after the conversation with Lauren's friend, I'd tell him to change his name to LOLderek on MSN.
Well, g'night.

Weird dream...

Do you enjoy reading about other people's wierd dreams? I do, so here's one I just had.

I made a map to make it easier for readers to follow. I suppose you wouldn't know what the house looked like, so it would be a lot easier if you did. Yes, it's a complicated map.

For some unknown reason me and two of my friends, Jorden and Damien, were employed to break into Eminem's house and steal a giant diamond he had.
Strangely enough, although I thought nothing of it at the time, he lived in a quiet street just outside the suburbs in a small one storey house with a basement. There were thick bushes on either side of this house, and around the back too, so no-one would notice what we were doing.
Marshal himself had left a short while ago, so we crept up to the door, unlocked it and stepped inside. From their we walked around this piece of wall that jutted out and down the corridor, peering into the two rooms on either side as we walked past, but not giving it a proper investigation. This diamond was huge, so there was a very high chance we'd miss it. It was about the size of a football, and ironically, diamond in shape.

We stopped in the kitchen at the end of the corridor for a while - I think Damien wanted to look around more. Deciding we didn't have much time, Jorden and I left him in the kitchen and proceeded down the stairs into the basement.

The map of the basement is on the right. -->

On the way down the stairs me and Jorden noticed the boxes at the side of the stairs, which were filled with dressing up clothes, toys and other things of the sort. Jorden pulled out a pirate hat, exclaiming "I'm the captain!" and chasing me down the stairs with a plastic cutlass. (Yeah, we kind of goofed off the job here...) He threw the hat off, which I then picked up and put on top of the hat I was already wearing (Shanks, baby!), and exclaimed "I'm the captain now!". Then Jorden chased me into the second kitchen - maybe Eminem gets veeerrry hungry, I don't know, ask him - where I took off the pirate hat and gave it back to Jorden, and in return he promised not to crush Shanks.

There was a small room on the right leading off the kitchen, which Jorden checked and said there was nothing of interest.

At this point it appeared that Eminem had kidnapped Harry Potter instead, and we had to free him. You know how your motives in dreams sometimes change.

There was a tiny door on the left, about 20x20 cms, which I thought I might be able to fit through, but when we opened it there was just a brick wall behind it.

Then we heard Eminem's voice at the bottom of the stairs, talking to his daughters, who in the dream were called Lily and Susie. I don't know why my brain named them that, it just did!

So me and Jorden (Damien had disappeared by this point, like people do in dreams) climbed out the small window in the kitchen. It was one of those small windows that only just peaks up above the ground - you know, the ones you get in basements.

At the back of the house was a garden, with an angel statue in the middle, like the one on the LG Optimus advert. We ran around to our left, down a small path and back out to the front of the house, fearing that Marshal would enter the kitchen and be able to see us through the window.

But, as we neared the front of the house, we noticed more people - two more stealy-diamonds-for-the-big-company-who-told-them-to people, like me and Jorden. There was a woman, who was on Wife Swap once, and the other was a man in a suit, the one from the Magnum advert.

We ran back around to the garden, not wanting to be seen by these new people who were on the same case as we were, but working for a different company. As we ran back around though, there were two women, working for the same company as the people at the front of the house. We ducked behind the building, but they'd spotted us, so we ran back to the path and hid in a ditch next to some bushes. The women found us, and made us blurt out some of the things we knew about the diamond (back to the diamond at this point), but Jorden got comfortable in a conversation and told them exactly where it had to be - in the one room we didn't check in the basement, the big one with the hexagonal front. I started running towards the back of the house so we could re-enter and snag the diamond for ourselves before they did - it didn't really matter if Marshal caught us, we just couldn't let the other company get it. I was practically screaming at Jorden to shut up and to come help me get the diamond, but he kept talking and only followed once he'd said everything.

The two women, who were now two of my friends - Becki and Molly - followed us, obviously wanting to get the diamond before we did.

But there was a giant sort-of fair thing, with lots of rides and stalls. Eminem's probably rich, he might have a fair permanantly in his back garden! So we had to work our way through that first. It was all sort of walled in, so you had to go through one stage before you could get to the next, so you couldn't just run around it all to the house.

The first stage was just some stalls, so we dodged those and carried on. Next there was a Waltzers, which changed direction, so we started running one way to make it faster, but then ended up going to slow way because it changed half-way. Next there was a swimming pool, and me and Jorden just ran over the water because we're magic, whereas Becki and Molly had to run around the outside. Next was a very busy dodgem thing, where the floor rotated quickly, and there was a mish-mosh of assorted vehicles which you didn't really drive, you just sat on them as they span and hurtled out of control. We tried running straight through the middle, but near the other side we got caught on a wierd circular thing with a gianthandle. We got caught on the giant handle - as it was spinning it grabbed us and threw us on for a ride. Becki and Molly were biding their time by riding across on a little donut-thing. Me and Jorden escaped from the little vehicle, but as we did so Molly pulled out a small box of beads, which, on the rotating floor, we tripped and stumbled over. We grabbed onto a rail near the exit while we waited for the beads to go by - whoever was through that door first was sure to get the diamond first.

Buuut I woke up. I know, FAIL. I like to think we got the diamond, but I probably woke up because I was scared Becki and Molly would get it.

Ha, anyways, 'til next time.

Ah... looks like I'm emo again.

I rejoined deviantART recently, since I've been stuck on the sofa and have nothing to do other than art, really. I didn't full on rejoin, just logged back in after, like, a couple of months.
Aside from updating with the art that I'd done in the time I was away, I tidied up my gallery a little. There was some really embarassing stuff in there. I can't believe I was so lazy. But I'm desperately trying to improve now. Moonlit has worn out it's welcome after 90 favourites, which I'm extremely grateful for, but I need to keep going. Moonlit's been the only thing that's really stood out amoungst my stuff. It's hard though. I want to get better, but there's only a certain amount I can do for the time being. I won't be able to learn properly until I go to college. There are some brilliant self-taught artists out there, but I'm just a rookie. I'm a big fish in a small pond at my school, but I'm tiny compared to all those out there in the ocean. I want to be great.
I often feel this feeling of imperfection, the feeling to change for the better but not knowing how to go about it. It's usually my personality that feels imperfect. I often get stuck with people who don't realise how deep their words go, how hurtful they are. "The sinners sin, but aren't aware". It's true. I have low self esteem due to them, and that just makes me more vunerable to what they say. I hate who I am, (thanks a lot, haters. You've made me hate myself...) but I might just be able to make it if I keep trying. My personality is apparently something that no-one would ever want, so maybe I can please them with my art and other things. Okay, I only have art. I think I care about people too, but only if they care about me. Once they upset me I couldn't care less what I do to them, I guess... No, that's not right. That's just the words that they put in my head. I care about people who care for me and if they make a mistake I forgive them and hold on desperately because I've got no-one else. The only time I couldn't care less about people is when they make me feel like they couldn't care less about me. Even if they do care about me, if they make me feel good-for-nothing then I don't have to put up with them! I'm a free person and I'm not going to stand for people who make me feel worthless!
Ah, I'm sorry... I've got a lot of wounds from a recent battle that haven't healed yet. I don't think they ever will, because they hurt me a lot more than the perpertrator realises.
So, I'm sorry if I ruined your mood. I love you all, and if you go away with one thing after reading this, let it be this: never ever forget that someone will always love you.

Did I tell you I'm an artist?

Not so much a post, it's just that I wanted to show you this.
I've been home sick again, so I dug out my art shizz.
Art copyright to moi.
Anyways...:

Give me love on deviantART if you like: http://kattling.deviantart.com/
Direct link to this piece: http://kattling.deviantart.com/art/fall-away-172027862
I haven't done art in a long time. I'd had it a little rough and had no inspiration, no self esteem and no motive. Getting better now though.
Love is loved!

"Recovery"

I thought I was a lot better since the Friday night, but I guess I set it off again working at school.
For those of you who do not already know, I'm sick at the moment, and came home absolutely dead last Friday.
Today I'd been feeling fine, albeit a little tired, but that's pretty normal for me recently. I had a lot of sleepless nights for reasons I shall not go into, and I was still catching up with those. Anyways, I was fine until it got to lunch time. I went with my friend, Siani, to our school cafeteria and whilst chatting to her I couldn't get how ill I felt off my mind, despite my best efforts to concentrate on what she was saying. I first noticed that I wasn't feeling quite right when I got my lunch out, then realised I didn't want to eat any of it, and had a stomach ache from then on. I kept shifting aorund in my seat, trying to get comfortable. Then I started to get that little pinch at the bottom of your mouth that you feel when you're about to be sick. I ignored it a couple of times, then one of my other friends, Jorden, came along and sat next to me, so I sat there for a while longer, talking to him and trying to take my mind off it. But after a while it got too much, and they very kindly came with me to the school nurse.
Then I went home and watched Japanese movies, because Japanese movies are the awesomeness. One wouldn't go full screen, which was annoying, and one was out of sync, which was annoying, but they're like my favourite movies EVAR. What movies? Howl's Moving Castle and Princess Mononoke. Love those movies.
For those concerned (and some of you I can quite honestly imagine smiling smugly in front of the computer at my misfortune) I think I am getting better, it's just that staying asleep on the sofa all day and going to school is a big step, one that I was apparently not quite ready to take. I might come in to school tomorrow, because we'll probably just be watching films all day and it's only half a day anyway, but I'll see how I feel in the morning.
Love you all and goodnight.

Sick + Green Man Day

I always wanted a blog, but lawd, the urge to use emoticons is amazingly strong.

Anywho, on to what I wanted to talk about.
I've been sick recently, apparently from walking home in the rain without an umbrella, but I don't see how that's true since it didn't rain when I was walking home and I've got a lift everywhere when it has been raining. I like the rain, especially walking in it, but I haven't walked in the rain for ages so that's not where my illness comes from! Don't blame the rain!
I think it's like EXTREME COLD, 'cos I'm all sniffley and stuff.
On Friday, it must've been, I felt ill all day, but I blamed that on three packets of Haribo and energy drink. By the way, energy drink is AMAZING. You can talk reeeaaally fast without screwing up your words! AH! So I moped around all day, slumping over the desks and not doing any work (thank godness it's nearly the end of the year so we're mainly watching videos!). I didn't think much of it - I just thought that if I laid on the sofa for a while I might feel better. What a fail that idea was. As soon as I sat on the sofa I had a headache, my nose was running for it's life, as if from some giant monster, I felt like I was going to throw up every couple of minutes, and I seriously didn't had the energy to lift up the TV remote, and even typing on Facebook and telling my friends that I was ill was tiring after a while - I had to stop for a breather.
Then I drifted off for a while, and as soon as I woke up I had to run up the stairs because I thought I was going to be sick. I only wretched a few times, and when I stood up straight again and looked in the mirror I was yellow/white, no joke. If you've ever seen our bathroom tiles, I was that colour only a stronger yellow. I looked like a Simpson - an ill, ill Simpson.
Later that afternoon I fell alseep on the sofa next to my mum, who has a tendency to fall asleep on the sofa and often does by choice rather than sleeping next to my dad because he snores. Anywho, she had a thick duvet over her, was mushing my feet under her, which are the most temperature-sensitive parts of my body, and we'd both been like that for about, I don't know, must've been a few hours. So when I woke up at 10:52 that night I was hot and sweaty and feverish. I went upstairs, deciding that my bed would be a lot more comfortable, and whilst cleaning my teeth I looked in the mirror again. My skin was a little better, but I had very, very bloodshot eyes. Never seen bloodshot eyes like that before.

Anyways, I fought it all off yesterday so I could go out with my friend, Siani, otherwise known as Little Teapot, to go to Green Man Day, a wierd day where no-one's really sure what they're celebrating, but by the sounds of the name they should be wearing green so that's what they do. Only the wierdos though. I wore a green t-shirt, but that was by accident, because I love my green t-shirt. It's so cuddly.
First thing we saw was the teacups, something that Siani liked to ride every year, so we went on that. As we span and roatated at the same time there were all these mums smiling at their tiny kids on the ride, who looked as grumpy as hell and looked like they wanted to get off immediately and run away. Us, however, two teenagers riding in the same tiny cup, were screaming our heads off with joy and excitement. Most fun ride EVER. NEVER underestimate the power of teacups. Next time you see them, no matter how old you are or how stupid you think you might look, go on them with a friend, because you will have the time of your lives.
I just took a sip of orange juice, tasted nothing, then a few seconds later all the flavour came along. My tastebuds are fail at the moment.
Back to Green Man, we walked up through the street and saw some stuff. THERE WAS A COW! And Siani hugged it so much, but I only hugged it once because I was preoccupied with laughing at Siani hugging it. Then we walked past this stall, and this creepy paedo guy comes up to us and is like "I'll sell you this bag for a fiver, when it's normally 20 quid", and I'm like "GET OUT OF MY SHOPPING!" and Siani's like "OKAY". So Siani bought the bag, and then we were looking at the other ubercool stuff they had. There was a really nice black dress with buckles on it, but it was like £50 and I don't have that kind of money, especially since I'm supposed to be saving for merchandise for when I go to a gig in Cardiff in a couple of weeks. Beisdes, I can probably find cheaper on Ebay. There were these really cool finger things, made of metal, that kind of turned your finger into an elongated metal pointy one. They were AWESOME, and I tried to haggle, but he only took it from £6 to £5, so I wasn't sure whether I wanted it, so I lied and said I didn't have that much.
We then decided we were thirsty, so we headed to the garage across the road, but we saw this guy on a bike along the way, and we stopped to look at his sign because it said something like "BOB + BOB JOB", and the next thing we know he's inviting us into the little box on the back of his bike to hear the naughtiest noises in the universe. So Siani got in, but I'm a little claustrophobic so I stayed outside to make sure he didn't ride off with her, and it farted in her face for a couple of minutes, then we left because he was scary. Ha.
We got to the garage, where Siani bought some sparkling water, but found it flavourless, so we decided to try and blow it up with Mentos instead, but only found soft mints, so we went to the park across the road and put them in. ALL of them. But nothing happened. Someone had left some deflated balloons where we were sat, so we took the ribbons and tied it around the neck of the bottle, and dragged it back up the street. We named it Pepsi and showed it to everyone and every thing. We showed it to, amoung other things, the cow, a cat, a magician who's crotch I accidently filmed for five minutes because I didn't realise my phone was recording, a giant green man on stilts who blessed us, including Pepsi, but then said Pepsi was evil so I kept telling Siani that we should push him over, and I think that was about it on the noticable scale. Oh, and a silver man who was meant to be a robot or something. He failed because we saw him carrying the stool he'd been stood on back down the street later that afternoon.
This is a long post, so I'll make the last bit quick.
After that we laughed at many things, sold Pepsi to a bunch of kids who gave us 41p, a green gumdrop and a packet of Love Hearts (Love'ums!), who then drank some of Pepsi's internal fluid and left him/her decapitated on the ground, and bought two of the wierd finger things and tried killing people with them because we thought we could. We've got a lot of work to do when we get back to school if we can kill people with them, hee hee...

Thanks for reading.