Bad mood.

Hey, I'm in a bad mood. Let's poke me and see what comes out...

I started drawing on the computer a couple of days ago. So far, so good. I think I like it. My mum said the art was the best I'd done, but she didn't like the subject. It probably sounds stupid using a quote from my mum, but that's just what I am, isn't it? An idiotic emotionless creature who likes to upset people. I'm sick of people thinking that's what I am. I do give a damn what they think, I could care less, I do try to do the best for everyone despite my own emotions but who gives a damn, eh?! I might just as well be selfish and do everything for my own personal gain because I'm certainly not getting anything by trying to be the good guy! Sorry, back to art. I told you I'm in a bad mood. At least I have the peace of mind of the moral highground, and the reassurrance that I gave it my all and there is nothing more I could do to help situations. Little things get under my skin, and that's where they stay for a long time... -Sorry, artwork. I guess this one's a little more dark than my other pictures. I mean, how much more innocent can you get than a girl finding a balloon? But that's not half the thoughts on my mind. I wanted to delve deeper into my own mind and find something dark and twisted and bring it into the light so everyone could see the true colour of my heart. I got a little way there with this one, I think. Not so much twisted, but darker. I hope to go for twisted soon. That will be my next target, but there are certian peers you will never be able to please, who will find any flaw just to make themselves feel higher. I'm not the best at anything, I accept that, and neither is anyone else - and putting other people down isn't going to make you any better. You have to work hard and that's what I've done my whole life, ever since I was tiny and my mum stuck my crayon picture of Tigger and Winnie the Pooh on the fridge. I barely had a full head of hair then, yet I've still been working at this since then because I love it, and I want to get as close to the best as I can because I want to thank whoever or whatever it was that gave me this gift and show just how much I appreciate it.
As you may have guessed, I'm not geeling my strongest at the moment. I think I should go calm down - maybe watch a movie or an episode of something. I wish I could open my mouth sometimes. I'm just scared those words will cause destruction instead of improvement. So I'll bottle it up again. Don't worry, I got a new notepad the other day that I'll write a diary log in if I need to let out some pressure. Honestly, I'll be fine. I just have that feeling where you want to shed your skin and leave for a little while. I've got to wait at least two years before I can leave for good. Even then I'll probably have to stick around for another two years. I might be impatiently awaiting my departure, but I know it will be so rewarding when it gets here. It's worth waiting for.
Um, good night. Don't ever let anyone put you down - they're just jealous or scared of competition. Even if you feel you're not that good, keep working at it, because that's the only way you'll get better. And then you can show them all! And it will feel so rewarding when you do. Keep that hope alive, because if you do then you will reach it.
I love you all, anyone who feels a little sympathy or anything like that for me. I love you so damn much. It's just me though, me and my rough edges scraping with other people's. I'll be fine in the end, I promise. "It'll be alright in the end, and if it's not alright it's not the end".
G'night. <3